Anonymous said: From your recent post, is that what you prefer as a real conversation? It's sad isn't it? It's like... If you think about it, people typically stop sending mail to each other's by writing letters. We do them through email. Memories. I love memories. I embrace pain. What else is it that you want to say that in human way is missing? Or misleading? I believe in you, I had to tell you that. It is so decent. I don't know if you get what I'm saying to you, maybe and maybe not. I just rambled.
I don’t think there’s anything “missing” in reference to what you’re talking about. I mean, yes, I’d love it if letters were still the case because it very much seems like the real thing but people can be people and people can be old souls in so many other ways as well—not solely as far as modern communication is concerned. I think the core of it lies elsewhere; what one could assume that is perhaps missing is the raw desire for real talk, not just pitter-patter. What makes me sad is the constant oppression of this particular desire in people. And what makes me even more sad is the fact that we’re doing this to ourselves more and more. Plus the fact that loads of people seem to associate real talk with something “heavy” subject matter wise. (I mean…no?) They can only indulge in a conversation which is “serious” and mistake it for it being “real.” But it’s just not the same in my head. You can have many of the so called serious conversations that will get your brain buzzing in one way or another. A real conversation to me though is something else. Impulse is what’s missing above all. The impulse which goes hand in hand with genuinity and spontaneity. That’s what makes a talk real. Opening up can be sincere only when these elements are present in what a person’s saying. And it’s not even about “opening up”, really, (see? language is tricky) — it’s about talking about the things that matter through words which don’t seem to matter. It’s about sharing your views and ideas and emotions knowing the underlying core of what it means to you sharing them in the first place. That’s big and demanding and needs self-awareness but it also needs as a process a certain degree of "Oh I don’t care, I don’t know what I’m talking about, I just like you and I would like you to listen and I’d like to listen to you as well." Perhaps this is what I crave in a real talk; a mixture of innate pure enthusiasm to let the words flow & the other person making me lose a bit track of my own self-consciousness so as to dare and “not care”. Only through not caring what I talk about and how it comes across do I seem to really communicate. I am making my own words count only through losing myself somehow in all that—when I know that I’ve lost a certain part of coherence and logic in speech I come to attain a certain sensitivity to what doesn’t seem to matter but does. Lightness, simplicity, the art of not being too cautious regarding your choice of language when talking to people…not seeking wordfulness to make it real. It being real in the first place and language only highlighting that very fact — that’s what I want. But then again that’s just me. Idk, I hope you get it.
Tiqqun, Introduction to Civil War.
— David Graeber, Debt: The First 5,000 Years (via blickinschaos)